An INFJ person can confuse others by … Mandy on June 17, 2017: I am an infj and my sister is an enfp. We were attracted to each other because of that rare “finally someone gets me” and “someone can join me on my theoretically mind journey into my great vision for the world”. A comrade might surmise that such detachment signals a disillusionment, that she has also been found lacking by the sardonic eye of this one who plumbs the depths of the human spirit. Okay, okay, I exaggerate. INFJ men and women are prone to overthinking and often feel mentally exhausted. In fact, we propose that any type pairing can work in theory, but different pairings will encounter problems unique to that combination. Conscientious and committed to their firm values. Want to understand what motivates people and are insightful about others. This website uses cookies -- Cookie Policy, INFJ Interests, Hobbies and Learning Style, Here is the list of their commonalities and differences, this page about top-earning personality types here, ESTP Personality Type [Promoter, Ultimate Realist, Thrill-Seeker], INFP Personality Type [Healer, Idealist, Dreamer, Harmonizer, Seeker], Are You in a Relationship with a Narcissist? “I think if I were married to another INFJ, we’d have great conversations, but we’d starve.”. Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on June 18, 2017: I'm glad you have such a strong sister by your side. As with any relationship, the more personal growth and individuation that a person has done, the more likely it is that his/her partnership will be successful. The obvious advantage to INFJ-INFJ relationships is they share a great deal of symbiosis and intuitive connectivity with each other since they are the same type. Because INFJ is the rarest personality type, people who belong to this type often feel like outsiders — they don’t fit in anywhere. A shared strength of intuition and a love of communicating their theories with others means that the INFJs will greatly enjoy doing what they love to do together with each other. Wondering “what next?” and not being able to imagine myself with many types, especially someone who isn’t even close to individuated. We met and where instantly inseparable for 27 years. INFJs are incredibly committed to their theories and ideals. An INFJ sighting in the wild is rare enough; therefore, an INFJ-INFJ pairing would seem tantamount to myth – about as likely as catching a glimpse of a unicorn or a UFO or any other fictional “U”-named objects of folklore. Hello, I am an INFJ that was married to another INFJ. Sie sind der am seltensten auftretende Persönlichkeitstyp und machen nur etwa 1 Prozent der Bevölkerung aus. But here’s the rub. Which personality type are you compatible with? I think if I were married to another INFJ, we’d have great conversations, but we’d starve. Neither is likely to loosen the grip on his/her theories and ideals, no matter how much he/she values his/her partner. We’re also both artists and appreciate alone time to make art so that’s something that has added an extra depth to our relationship. I’m even skeptical of our supposed natural pairing (ENTP). In that way they have a great advantage over other types when it comes to the likelihood of success; by naturally making the relationship a priority and being willing, excited even, to talk about the health of the relationship, they position themselves ahead of other couples from the starting gate. That can make all the difference. TEST: Do You Have What It Takes to Succeed at Work? Protagonist ENFJ-A / ENFJ-T. Charismatic and inspiring leaders, able to mesmerize their listeners. INFJ-A / INFJ-T. Quiet and mystical, yet very inspiring and tireless idealists. What Type of Person Am I? Hi Elaine–fun to hear another INFJ’s perspective. Couldn’t be better timing for me. But if they don’t (especially on an issue of great importance), that can create an exceptional amount of strain. Initiate conversations because they don’t always know how to approach you first. Because INFJs often feel so misunderstood and alien in the world, partnering with someone who understands them so well (just as they understand others) is likely to be a source of great comfort and friendship. Allow them to be alone when they need it. If both partners agree not to hold the other responsible or blame the other when one or more of these S/T concerns arises, then there is a higher likelihood of success. Be loyal to them: INFJs need to know where they stand and can’t handle uncertainty when it comes to relationships. This makes them particularly well equipped to help meet the needs of their partner, intuitively knowing and understanding what the other is looking for. Ask This ONE Question, Defense Mechanisms: Test Your Unconscious Coping Techniques, Types of Thinking Test: Concrete, Analytical, Abstract, Logical, Imaginative, Creative. In other words, the relationship is not likely to suffer from neglect. This information may not apply to every INFJ, or the other personality types I have described below, but it is based on the patterns of behavior I have observed in my lifetime. Open up: Share your feelings. I’m an INFJ married to an INFJ and you hit exactly in some of the great and not so great things about our dynamic. Both INFJs must understand that they share the same strengths, but along with that comes the same weaknesses. My partner and I are both INFJ’s and our love has always felt cosmic. She is currently authoring a book on the INFJ personality type. The maturity and wisdom that comes from self-growth always positions individuals in a better place to relate to their friends and loved ones. On a theoretical level it can work. Only her death separated us. A true Jungian, she began writing about typology in 2010, shortly before beginning her collaboration with A.J. INFJs already intuitively know that, generally speaking, the world undervalues their special brand of know-how. This may cover everything from finances and budgeting to other pragmatic concerns like remembering to have the car serviced or bills paid on time. What is Irrational Confidence and Is It a Good Thing? Luckily, we both have the same exact liberal out-look on politics, religion, and other worldly matters so we never butt-heads about values because they’re the same! Drenth and Personality Junkie®. 5. This sums us up to a tee! The unusually high expectations that INFJs are wont to cast on any relationship are kicked up a notch (if that’s even possible) with another INFJ – most likely because INFJs knows what the INFJ is capable of. INFJs are masters of the conception/theory portion, but can fall short when it comes to Se (i.e., their inferior function) action. INFJs sind freundliche und warme, aber auch sehr komplexe Individuen. INFJ Flirting & Dating: How to Attract an INFJ Each personality type has their own way of flirting and connecting with others. 14 FREE Psychological Tests to Find Out, Visual, Auditory, and Kinesthetic Modalities [TEST], Dating a Narcissistic Sociopath or a Narcissist: 10 Signs, Four Temperaments: Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, and Melancholic Personality Types. The only issue we always run into is that we both always feel that we are right about everything and hate being told to do something a different “more efficient” way, very typical INFJ traits, but we always work through it and never stay mad at each other for more than a few minutes! I am still laughing.. It does happen and is beyond description. In a worst case scenario, the INFJ may end up losing him or herself entirely in the process of a relationship where it’s not always clear if one is looking in the mirror or at someone else entirely (the INFJ partner). If you want to learn more about INFJs, you’ve come to the right place. INFP, INTP, ENFP or ENTP. We are an INFJ-INTP duo and have written extensively about INFJs in our online articles as well as our eBooks: My True Type: Clarifying Your Personality Type, Preferences & Functions, The 16 Personality Types: Profiles, Theory & Type Development. Living With Someone With OCD: How You Can Help, Do I Need Marriage Counseling [Quiz] — 54 Signs of Deteriorating Relationship. They cannot expect their partner to pick up where they fail. I’ve been thinking a lot about this coupling, since recently separating from a long term relationship with an esfp. And they expect a lot. The INFJ's thinking is introverted, turned toward the subject. Perhaps it is when the INFJ's thinking function is operative that they are most aloof. Monica, that sentence made my day. This is hard enough on its own, but can be particularly demoralizing if an INFJ gets the sense that someone out there (in this case, the INFJ partner in the immediate vicinity) is already doing the job. They may fail to consistently enact their own theories or advice. I think this may be due to the fact that our J side is so certain about EVERYTHING–that when those certainties collide, so can the friendship over time, as our introversion and feeling sides just get drained by the conflict and withdraw. For more updates on all personality types visit this page. An INFJ sighting in the wild is rare enough; therefore, an INFJ-INFJ pairing would seem tantamount to myth – about as likely as catching a glimpse of a unicorn or a UFO or any other fictional “U”-named objects of folklore. Moreover, if both INFJs have found success in other areas, such as their education, career, and outside friendships, feelings of competition will be reduced and the relationship’s chance of success increased. Okay, okay, I exaggerate. No fun being an infj sometimes is it? Some have a higher likelihood of compatibility than others due to shared preferences and/or functions, while others will have more hurdles to clear in order to thrive. Elaine (INFJ) has been studying personality theory since she was first introduced to the Myers-Briggs taxonomy over 20 years ago. I’m married to an ISTP, and while that combo was challenging in the beginning because he literally couldn’t care less about my theories, having such a stable Se partner has been a lifesaver for me as I face my own challenges in the workplace. Seek meaning and connection in ideas, relationships, and material possessions. It is difficult to mistake an INFJ for an INTJ, but if you aren’t sure about your type, you can take this scientifically validated test to find out your four-letter type. INFJs have a history of projecting lofty ideals onto their partners, whatever the type, ultimately resulting in their being accused of having unattainable or unreasonable standards when those ideals fail to be met. In addition, INFJs are incredibly good communicators and are very much at home in the realm of relationships. Regardless, am sure,that I have often had similar thoughts: I would do almost anything to be close to someone that “got” me; or would at least talk endlessly about abstract stuff as if it were as important as things like eating, paying bills, remembering where you, your keys, and your phone are at the moment. Yes, we are those things, and so much more.. Few other personality types care as deeply about humanity on a large scale as INFJs do, and perhaps no other type is better suited to start a social movement that … They really invest in their relationships and are constantly communicating with their partners in order to troubleshoot any relational issues that might come up. People with this personality type want to know that their work helps people and promotes their own personal growth. Read Elaine's bio here. So here goes. I am an INFJ and my wife is an ENFP. 6. If both INFJ partners see things the same way then there is no problem. INFJs zählen zu den Idealisten. Thanks for this great poat! 7. When you share your emotions, you speak the INFJ language. They may feel (even if irrationally) that they are not needed and that finding actualization is almost impossible with another INFJ around. INFJs have a very unique approach to romantic entanglements, but they do value them very […] Just thought I’d add my two cents since we’re quite a rare pair! And they often feel undervalued, having to fight hard to get their piece of the proverbial pie and do it authentically. INFJ. Develop a clear vision about how best to serve the common good. Great post Elaine. Teacher (especially art or social sciences), Dumbledore, Remus Lupin and Lily Potter from Harry Potter, Dr. Heathcliff “Cliff” Huxtable from The Cosby Show, Haku (Nigihayami Kohaku Nushi) from Spirited Away. In other words, if one or both of the INFJ partners is looking to the other to complete the Se piece of the equation that they lack, the relationship can (and likely will) fail.